"According to the press office from the Department of Homeland Security, lowered-threat Yellow means that there were no special inspections of passengers or cargo. Isn't it nice of Mr. Bush to alert Osama when half our security forces are given the day off? Hmm. I asked an Israeli security expert why his nation doesn't use these pretty color codes. "He asked me if, when I woke up, I checked the day's terror color. "'I can't say I ever have. I mean, who would?' "He smiled. 'The terrorists.' "America is the only nation on the planet that kindly informs bombers, hijackers and berserkers the days on which they won't be monitored. You've got to get up pretty early in the morning to get a jump on George Bush's team. "There are three possible explanations for the Administration's publishing a good-day-for-bombing color guidebook. "1. God is on Osama's side. "2. George is on Osama's side. "3. Fear sells better than sex. "A gold star if you picked #3. "I'm going to tell you something which is straight-up heresy: America is not under attack by terrorists. There is no WAR on terror because, except for one day five years ago, al Qaeda has pretty much left us alone.
"That's because Osama got what he wanted. There's no mystery about what Al Qaeda was after. Like everyone from the Girl Scouts to Bono, Osama put his wish on his web site. He had a single demand: 'Crusaders out of the land of the two Holy Places.' To translate: get US troops out of Saudi Arabia.
"And George Bush gave it to him. On April 29, 2003, two days before landing on the aircraft carrier Lincoln, our self-described "War President" quietly put out a notice that he was withdrawing our troops from Saudi soil. In other words, our cowering cowboy gave in whimpering to Osama's demand.
"The press took no note. They were all wiggie over Bush's waddling around the carrier deck in a disco-aged jump suit announcing, 'MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.' But it wasn't America's mission that was accomplished, it was Osama's ..."